Don’t be the girl that settles

Dear Daughter,

One day, you might meet someone who gives you butterflies like you haven't felt in a while. Who makes you feel like you have found exactly what you've been missing. He'll call you every day, take you on "dates" and make you think this could be the real thing. You'll hold onto the hope that it is, though a small feeling in your gut will be telling you to be careful - and others, who know him better than you, may even tell you the same thing. Although you'll be hesitant in the beginning, you'll slowly feel yourself falling, because when it comes to relationships, you're open and confident enough to be vulnerable.

But there will be something about this relationship that feels off - he won't be as open as you are, and will pull back as you get closer. Rather than hang on to this "almost relationship", where you find that you're giving yourself to someone who is afraid to let you in, my advice to you is this. Tell him how you value being real, and that you don't like to leave things unsaid. Tell him how it feels you're at a crossroads between being "friends", "casual" and potentially something better.  That because he is unable - or unwilling - to talk about things with you, you feel that you're left guessing at what you two are doing.

If he responds by saying that you're looking for something that he is not, and that he doesn't want to hold you back, listen to him. And believe that. Because if he is quick to leave, it means he never intended to stay.

If this is the case, the truth is - you ARE looking for something different. Deep in your heart, you know you want something real, and special - something that's worth hanging on to. You're looking for the one you can settle down with, who is willing - and able - to be everything to you. You deserve a best friend who isn't afraid to let you in, and show you how much he cares. Someone who won't walk away so easily, and who will be vulnerable with you. Let that be your standard, and don't stop dating until you find that person. Because he's out there, looking for you too.

Until then, continue to be confident, happy in life and with your choices, and be real. You are incredible, and have so much more to give to someone than just half your heart.

Never be afraid to fall - just make sure it's for someone who is ready to catch you.