How You Know You've Met "The One"

Dear Daughter,

One day, you will find the man you were meant to marry. You will have probably felt the initial spark a long time ago – and at the time you may have called it attraction. This attraction likely developed into obsession, and lust. It always does when there’s crazy attraction. But that spark also might have started out as a small little flame. A friend flame. A little inkling in your heart that you really liked this person – how much you liked him was yet to be determined. He was funny, and nice and a great time to be around, and you knew from the beginning that you wanted to get to know him more. That may or may not have been all…in the beginning. True love can develop in two ways – right off the bat, or over time. Both are possible, and equally as amazing.

The moment you two had your first kiss quite possibly was as magical as what you see in fairy tales – often it is. But it also might have been a little awkward – or just okay. Don’t believe everything you hear about first kisses telling you everything you need to know about a person. I can promise you, the physical side of things gets SO much better the more and more you fall in love. Of course, if you’re reading this, you probably know that already.

As you fell in love with this man, you probably found things to come easy. Easier than ever before with anyone else. More exciting than ever before. Physically, emotionally you two developed together – and kept getting better and better than ever together. That’s not to say you didn’t have troubles, or doubts. Don’t believe the people who say they ‘never fight’ with their significant other – everyone does. But learning how to fight together…fairly and respectfully…is one of the keys to finding your forever partner, if you ask me. It would not be true love if there were never any problems or people standing in your way. It’s true love when you realize these people and problems don’t matter as much as being together does.

As you fell deeper in love, you probably began to notice the little things that made this man stand out more than anyone else in your life. Maybe it was his goofy smile, dumb jokes or happy attitude. Or maybe it was his desire to better himself – by setting goals, expanding his horizons, pursuing his passions. His desire to make a life worth being proud of, all the while making room for you in it. Maybe you fell in love with his ability to make you laugh no matter how terrible your day was. Or his uncanny ability to know when you needed a hug. His hugs are probably the safest, coziest place you’ve ever been. You don’t want to ever let him go – and the good news is you don’t have to.

When you fall in love – deep, true love – not everything makes sense. Finances might be tough. You might have different passions or dreams. Or want to live in different places. But being in true love means you feel like a better person because of him – you feel more fulfilled…more yourself…than you did without him. You’ll compromise things, but it won’t feel like you’re giving yourself up. It will feel like you’re building a bigger, better life together. Great love and great achievement both take great risk. Don’t be afraid to take risks. When two people really care about each other, they always find a way to make things work.

I’m not sure if there’s such a thing as having one soul mate…some people believe in that. I can’t say that I do. But I do believe there’s such a thing as seeing someone else’s soul and loving it with all of yours. The difference between a heart and a soul is that your soul is who you are – your heart is where your passions lie. Loving someone with your whole heart is one thing, but seeing someone else’s soul – everything that makes them who they are – and loving them still, is a much deeper connection. One that’s meant to last a lifetime. I believe there could be many “soulmates” out there for you, but my greatest wish is you recognizing this and ending up with the perfect person for you.

Today, as you realize you might be with the one you’ll spend the rest of your life with, take a minute and think back to all of those fairy tales you grew up watching. Now get rid of the preconceived notions they placed in your head – that love was so perfect, and so beautiful and so obvious. Marriage isn’t a fairytale – true love isn’t either – both take hard, hard work sometimes. But it’s the most wonderful thing you will ever experience in your life. And it’s so worth the wait. Anyone can say “I love you”, but not everyone can wait and prove it’s true. If you’ve found the one who can, hold on to him tight. And never, ever let him go.